Persuasion

"No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion" (D&C 121:41).

In this statement, the Lord taught Joseph Smith the first principle of righteous influence: the principle of persuasion.

However, before discussing this principle, it is instructive to note that this principle—and those that follow—are not just divine ideals regarding how one should lead. They are the bare minimum. In this statement, the Lord suggests that efforts to use power or influence—a distinction likely referencing both positional authority and informal influence—not only should not be maintained, but cannot be maintained except through the application of these principles.

While one can certainly exercise influence by other means, that influence will not be sustainable over time. When individuals use manipulation or other forms of influence, these methods will not—and cannot—last. True leadership influence can only be maintained over time by adhering to these principles.

Now, let's explore the first principle: persuasion. According to Robert Greenleaf, "Leadership by persuasion has the virtue of change by convincement rather than coercion." Thus, persuasion is rooted in honoring the agency of others. A person who uses persuasion respects the right of others to make choices for themselves based on their own desires, needs, and difficulties. They listen to others to understand their situation and what they are striving to achieve. They are motivated by a desire to serve and support rather than to control.

Once one has an understanding of the other's situation, they look for ways to support them, which may include asking coaching questions, providing information, insights, and perspective, and offering suggestions and support. However, these are all offered in a spirit of inquiry that respects people’s right to make decisions for themselves.

Influence by persuasion does not involve assuming that one knows best what another person should do with their life. Everyone has to walk their own path, even when that path leads to pain and suffering. Others can offer insights and perspective to guide one on the path, but any effort to control or manipulate others into taking actions that one thinks are best for them is not righteous dominion—and will ultimately diminish one’s influence rather than increase it.

To lead with persuasion, consider doing the following:

1. Really listen to others to understand their desires, needs, and challenges. What do they want? What do they need to achieve what they want? What is standing in their way?

2. Coach—don’t dictate. Ask questions that help people think about how best to accomplish their goals without trying to manipulate their behavior.

3. Invite and encourage choice and action. When people have considered the options available to them and reflected on what to do, invite and encourage them to make decisions that will best help them achieve their goals.

4. Provide love and support regardless of whether they choose what you think is best for them or not. They are on a journey that only they can take. God loves them more than you can ever imagine, and He will do everything He can to help them. Trust that the plan He has for them encompasses all the choices they make because His plan fully honors and respects their agency—and will work within it to help them.